Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
