Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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