the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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