I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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