Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just blew my weed a kiss
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
