there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
