Porn is love you can see.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
