I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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