On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't want my vagina anymore.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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