Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We need to rekindle our bromance
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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