he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
