I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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