I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
