I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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