we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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