Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
