Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Vodka?
Forever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
