My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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