my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
