there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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