I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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