Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
