Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't think brook has ever known best
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize