I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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