Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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