we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
