god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
