Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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