If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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