You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
