im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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