so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
