i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
