He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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