forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
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they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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