I hope mine doesn't look like that
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
