My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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