Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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