Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
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The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
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"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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