He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
