i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
