I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
