Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
