Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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