well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Found your dick twin last night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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