yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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