Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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