Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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