So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
