i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize