Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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