That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
