in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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